Sexual Assault Awareness Month, observed each April, is a campaign that aims to increase awareness about the causes and risk factors for sexual assault and empower individuals to take steps to prevent it in their communities.

Sexual harassment, assault and violence are ever present nowadays – if only it was only in TV series! But everybody knows someone that has been a victim of some form of sexual assault, even if they may not know it.

Sexual violence can include everything from catcalling, sexual harassment, molestation, incest, and rape. It can be very insidious: the stranger (or a colleague) brushing up against you, or someone’s hand touching a part of your body – was it accidentally, or done on purpose?

I also experienced all sorts of sexual violence in my life.

It started with an uncle -actually my aunt’s boyfriend- who abused me when I was four years old, and then told me to stay quiet; otherwise my aunt wouldn’t love me anymore – yet he kept making me gifts, too expensive ones for my age. At age 13 I was raped by a stranger when I was walking home from my sports training; I always had to walk across a cemetary at 7pm-ish, that’s where it happened. And it happened again when I was 19 years old; I was out dancing at a US military base and one of the G.I. Joe’s asked me to go outside because he needed to talk – foolishly I agreed and he forced himself on me. The Police offers asked what I was wearing, and if was sure I hadn’t wanted it (when I was 13) – so when it happened again, I didn’t even go back to the Police. And then there was the boyfriend when I was 16 – older than me, he pretended to love me only to tell me to sleep with other men to pay off his debts because apparently that’s what you do when you „really love someone“; I’m lucky to have made it away much better then other person in the same predicament.

Inbetween those where numerous times where I was catcalled; where a friend of the family had his hands on my bottom (and my grandparents told me to not say anything because it was „nothing“); where a doctor told me that I probably just needed a good f*** to get rid of my gynecological problems; and on top of it all, christians & purity culture told me that I had to repent from the fact that I had been abused and raped, and that I was comparable to a licked lollipop tossed aside that probably nobody would ever want again – and if they did, I should be grateful.

Today as a trans person, the sexual harassment has taken other form from fetishization to degrading, to people just wanting to „try out“ a trans person (as if we were sex toys without feeling or mere curiosities). And then there are hate crimes (trans panic and other things) which fortunately I haven’t experienced, and to which so often my trans feminine siblings are subjected, and BIPOC trans women often at the price of their lives.

But sexual assault also, and often also takes place in cyberspace. There, the wounds are not physical – but the pain is just as real. And it is even more insidious in a very sinister way: unless one turns off phones, computers, tablets etc – there is no way to escape it, or it gets very difficult. For this reason, this year’s SAAM theme is Building Safe Online Spaces Together, because sexual harassment, assault, and abuse can happen anywhere, including online.

With all that is going online, it is really necessary. Dick pics are being sent. Unwanted messages and comments are being made – be on the person as a whole or on certain body parts; their body shape, race or gender. People are being stalked and harassed online. And whilst men can also be victims, the by large incomparably biggest part of victims are women and children.

But men should never be afraid to speak up either. It is not un-manly to speak up. It is not weak to to admit to have been a victim. It takes a lot of strength and courage. There is still a lot of shame attached to talking about sexual assault and harassment, and fear of not being believed -for women, and even moreso for men. You are being believed, and you need not be ashamed!

Cyber assault can have lasting impact, too, Some people may say tojust brush it off or see it as some weird twisted compliment, but it is what it is – and unwanted intrusion into one’s privacy. It is harassment. Last year had a similar theme, and this year’s builds on it: creating online communities centered on respect, inclusion, and safety.

It is important to raise awareness through small and big campaigns both in real life and online, and sometimes the smaller, the more effective. It is important to speak out. Don’t be afraid, don’t stay alone. Get connected with others – allies, and exchange with those have have lived through similar experiences. Get empowered and don’t be silenced by the bullies. We believe you! When in doubt, speak up, talk to somebody. Nobody is entitled to anybody else’s body or body parts, be it through actions or speech, and nobody is worth more than another human being. We all have the same innate worth and dignity, and deserve to be treated with respect. And always remember: whatever happened – it is never your fault, it is never ever the victim’s fault.

I won’t cease to dream of a worldwhere all are safe, an inclusive world, with respect and love and joy and all those good things…