I am unapologetically Tsalagi and Taino.
I am Indigenous.
I am Black.
I am Jewish, too.

I am Intersex.
I am ftm.
I am Asegi.

I am a lot of things, and can be a lot of things.
But I am nobody’s fetish and refuse to be fetishized – be it for my race, skin color, for being trans or intersex or what know you.

It is bad enough as it is when it happens, but when it happens from people in the (LGBTQIA+) community, it is even worse because I reckon they’d know better, understand better. But then, we’re all humans. Which does not make it less worse. It’s not my job to educate the world. There are enough ressources out there. And there’s this thing called common sense.

And so far this has always happened coming from white people. To the point that makes me wonder if I will ever want to enter a relationship (again) with a white person or not. It requires a whole other level of trust; and there are things that you just don’t need to explain to another BIPOC; even though we live our individual lives, there are shared experiences.

I spent much of my childhood getting beaten up daily and called the N-word, whilst later, my skin having gotten whiter, my identity was erased – again by (well-meaning? but you look so white! wtf…) white persons. My indigenous identity was taken away from me and I am recovering my language(s) and culture(s) – and surely not to be put into some boxes, onto some pedestals or be otherwise tokenized or fetishized, titled exotic and else.

Or have some parts of my body fetishized – there is a fine line between being curious (in a good way), enjoying, and fetishizing someone to the point of not seeing the person anymore, but only the „thing“ they want.

And then there’s that: as a gay trans guy, a good handful of cis guys seem to see us only as bottoms/subs – if they don’t see us as half-guys/girls anyway.
As I like doing Drag, it is appealing to quite a few and they automatically assume I am more dominant and only want the femme side: exotic femme of color, a domme, come and whip me. Yes, I am more dom – but why assume it based on being a „femme of color“? Which obviously I am NOT. Color yes, but otherwise…

#NotAll… no, not all. I know, not all.
And I’m grateful for those who aren’t.
Really grateful.

But I needed to get this out after some really fucked up shit these last weeks coming from several people irl and online. Don’t like it? There’s the door. And don’t let it hit you on your way out.